As newly weds, my DH and I came with our own expectations about sex. We had different ideas, which sexual activities are “good”, the sex appropriate locations etc. No one really talked to us about sex before marriage…like really talked to us…
So it was very exploratory for us. We decided that we would be honest and open in communication about sex no matter how shady or weird it sounded. We learnt that being spontaneous and fun was important for both of us. Largely because of our personalities.
We have learnt that sexual intimacy is more than just sexual intercourse. Men are mostly physical when it comes to sex. They see, touch and are ready to go! Women are interested in the relationship connection. They feel loved and appreciated and they are ready to go! Sexual intimacy requires understanding and responding to these differences.
We have learnt that sex is a time for us to continue learning each other. We have learnt that kids CHANGE our sex lives. We often get tired with the taking care of kids and working. We have learnt that we HAVE TO MAKE TIME. This is so important.
“Done well, marital sexuality can be a supremely healing experience.” ~ Gary Thomas
Practicing Sexual Intimacy:
- Talk about what turns you on and off
- Try different sex styles for fun
- Foreplay that works for both of you
- Pillow talk about what you loved during the sexual experience
- Communicate sex expectations