Marriage is a neural complexity

  • I did not know the extent to which men and women differ just because they are men and women. Forget the personalities, forget the temperaments, forget the background. Let’s talk brains!
  • Men, generally have similarities. Just because they are men. And Men’s brains work very differently from women’s brains. Just watch the video!
  • My Darling Husband’s (DH) brain loves adrenaline. When he is on the road, he has imaginary conversations with other drivers. A driver flashes lights at him and he flashes back. Once to mean one thing and twice to mean another. Then when a driver overtakes him, he knows that driver will go home and have a conversation with his friends telling them he overtook my DH. So my DH takes the challenge and its a race just so that the other driver has nothing to talk about.  I mean what’s that?
  • DH and I were visiting friends the other day and the men there went on and on about justifying how they drive.  It seemed the men agreed that justice was being served by them to disrespectful drivers.  Those drivers needed to be taught that when another driver in front of you is going at a comfortable pace of 80 kph, don’t hoot to speed them up.  Hooting communicates that, “I’m in hurry and I need to get to where I am going faster than you are letting me. Plus I need to hoot to harass you.” The correct response according to my DH and his friends (guys)  is to let the other driver attempt overtaking. Then the guys speed up to 120kph to frustrate the other driver’s efforts.  The  other driver is forced to return to his place behind the guys . Then the guys slow down to the leisurely speed of 80kph. Poor other driver!
  • This is just a driving example. Women, at least I, drive differently and don’t get affected the same way in the same situations. We communicate differently. FINE in woman speak is different from FINE in men speak. We react to stress differently. DH gets into a zone/cave and sees how his problem can be fixed. I just talk and talk and talk until I feel better. What may be logical to me may not be logical to DH and vice-versa.
  • I have learnt that we are WIRED differently and I can’t fault that.  I have learnt that DH needs an adrenaline release and speeding on the road is one that he really enjoys. So I let him speed and have races with other drivers who may or may not know they are in the race. And DH has learnt to listen to details in my stories/rants as opposed to asking for summaries.  So yes our brains are different and yes estrogen and testosterone are hormones that affect men and women differently. And yes we may be soul-mates and not brain-mates.  Would we ever have neural compatibility? Maybe not. But these are the differences that make marriage interesting and fresh and funny!

 

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