Marriage is a two people company

  • Marriage is a licensed company made of two partners. Husband and Wife. Marriage takes a Husband AND Wife working as a team. Not one OR the other. BOTH must work towards a happy marriage. And it’s not easy. Any new work assignment I have encountered has required me to understand the organization’s mission and vision, its culture, its work ethic etc. In addition, I had a set of goals and targets that I was to accomplish by the end of the year and I’d be reviewed against those targets. For the sake of this post, lets call the targets and goals Key Performance Indicators (KPIs). When I got married, the only KPI for my marriage I had was stay married.
  • After a blissful first year of marriage, we were getting into a different season. I was seeking more for my marriage. I was seeking direction, meaning and value from the marriage. I became not just a wife but a mother as well. My Darling Husband (DH) became a father. We had new roles and new responsibilities.
  • It was initially difficult to get on the same page about marriage KPIs. Mainly because what I thought was a goal and what DH thought was a goal was different. Our brilliant different brains were working overtime to be aligned. Then we realized that we could do it differently. We divided our life generally to different facets. Physical, Social, Emotional, Sexual, Spiritual and Intellectual. These were all areas that we needed our lives to grow. So we developed KPIs against these facets. For example on the spiritual facet a goal is to have devotions at least 5 times a week with the children and daily just the two of us.
  • The KPIs help us to have Specific, Measurable, Attainable/Agreed upon, Realistic and Time-bound (SMART) goals.
  • We have learnt that since having KPIs at work keep us motivated, focused and accountable, having the same in our marriage will have the same effect.  We have learnt to be on the same page when articulating the KPIs thus managing expectations. We have learnt that we should each give 100%  whether  or not we think our spouse is or isn’t giving as much. We have learnt to refresh our commitment to the sustainability of the marriage company for better for worse. We have learnt that just like the office space has challenges to attain the KPIs, so will our marriage. We have learnt to take time off for team building exercises, recreation and vacation time.  We have learnt to enjoy marriage the same way we seek job satisfaction. We have learnt that marriage takes work daily, it takes reflecting on the marriage mission and vision, it takes BOTH of us to WANT the marriage to last and be joyous.

 

 

 

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