We have learnt that love is selfless meaning I have to let go of my selfish ambitions (Things that will only benefit me/ please me/ satisfy me and not my Darling Husband (DH)) and seek communal ambitions (things that we are both satisfied with). An easy example is if it’s date night and it’s mid month (low on funds), I wouldn’t pick a chick flick to watch, because it is only for my joy. Instead we’d pick something that we’d both enjoy like dancing to live music and a coffee place we like. Then later on, I can enjoy the chic flick at home with DH and popcorn. (Here, DH has sacrificed to watch the chic flick and may plead the fifth).
We have learnt that dying to self means doing actions that reflect “I love YOU” and not “I love ME”. This way we both win!
We have learnt that dying to self is the greatest expression of love. We have learnt that when we love selflessly, we inherently meet each others needs because we consider each others needs above our own.
We have learnt that dying to self is a daily task. It means loving DH (even when I don’t FEEL like it), it means not using sex as a manipulative weapon (if you don’t do this and that, you don’t get the cookie), it means daily practice, deliberate actions and sacrifice. It takes Jesus! Christ DIED for the church. That is as death to self as it gets. Literally.