Marriage is the best conflict resolution training

  • I never thought I was a trivial person (if it’s a thing). Then I got married and some arguments were just so FYULISH!. Like who argues about time to sleep????

Me: Babe it’s 9pm. Si we go lala.

DH: Ahhhh its still early….

Me: Rants how Darling Husband (DH) is not considerate of my working hours and the fact that I need my precious 8 hours of sleep.

DH:…Counter argues how 6 hours are equally enough and that 10:30pm is not late

More back and forth.

Me: Goes to sleep pouting!

  • Of course sleeping times will vary,  of course the toothpaste tube will not explode because it was squeezed all over, of course tissue is still use-able whichever way its placed in its roll.
  • Over time we have learnt to see a conflict coming (now we focus on major issues, which may seem trivial in 10 years… we’ll see). We have learnt our trigger points, what not to say in anger, how to reassure, how to fight fair, how to bring out the issues and not attack each other, to resolve quickly, to reiterate our love for each other after conflict. And to make up! (Best part). We are also learning how to come up with WIN-WIN situations.
  • We also agreed to sleep ndethe (naked) daily. Yes even in winter. Even when we are angry at each other. That way when DH’s feet touch mine, I’ll cringe, but I’ll smile. Then by midway through the night, we are back into each other’s arms.
  • We have learnt that it takes a lot of energy fighting each other. We have learnt to consider each other’s differences and expectations since these are the main reasons why we fight.

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