Marriage is the greatest test of Christianity

The fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.

  • So as a Christ follower, I am constantly challenged on how Christian I really am as a wife and mother. I am sure if my Darling Husband (DH) and my children were summoned as a witness in my eternal trial, I would fail on displaying the fruit of the Spirit.
  •  “Where is your patience babe”, “Where is your gentleness mum!”.  Ok, to cut myself some slack, usually when I am upset, the impatience kicks in. Then I snap my fingers, maybe raise my voice, and really put on the frustrated face. If my hair wasn’t locked, I would probably pull it out at that juncture.
  • My DH and I are both generally forgetful. I have worked out a reminder system in my phone and email for events and things to do. I always write down the shopping list. I put an alarm for the children’s hospital appointments. I ‘diarize‘ (put in digital diary).
  • When we got married, I obviously thought that if you knew your weakness, you’d find a way to make it work right? Well, not necessarily.

Me:(It’s Wednesday) “Babe, Its Puppy Girl’s (our daughter) well baby clinic appointment on Saturday.”
DH: “Yeah, cool”
On Thursday, DH is scheduling a meeting.
DH:(on the phone) ” Yes Saturday 9 am I will be there!”
Me: Give him a Saturday-you-are-not-available-look
DH: Ignores my look and hangs up.
Me: Give him the look again
DH: What?
Me: WOOOOSAAAA “Saturday is Puppy girl’s clinic, I told you last week and reminded you yesterday??”
DH: It dawns on him. “Oh!!!!!!! Waaa! I forgot!”

  • Whaatt? He forgot? Again? Good news is that DH rescheduled that meeting. But these are the instances I am reminded, that it took me time to get the reminders working for me. So we talked of a reminder system for DH. He agreed to the plan. And his reminder would be…..ME. He insisted that duplication of diarizing and scheduling would be wasted on him. So now before scheduling he just asks. On the other hand, I had to accept this and allow DH to always ask me even after I tell him a couple of times.
  • Some thoughts that would cross my mind when I am having a moment:Why am I so impatient? Yet Jesus is patient with me. The many times I forget to have my QT (quiet time/devotion)and end up skimming through His word during lunch. How else can I show love when I am upset? I feel that until DH asks for forgiveness I should not be kind or loving.
  • But the Bible reminds us “Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” Ephesians 4:32.  Yaani, I should act on forgiveness even before it is requested of me, just because I am already forgiven. It’s hard not to be right always. It’s hard to admit when I’m wrong. It’s hard to say “sorry” and “forgive me”. But oh how important it is!
  • We have learnt that we both have weaknesses. We have learnt to be patient with each other because we are still growing. We have learnt that in anger, still be nice eg: if I requested for a cup of water because DH was getting one, he wouldn’t deny the request. We have learnt that praying for and with each other opens us to forgiveness. Even when praying we can submit our grievances to God in the hearing of each other because that is a safe space.
  • We learnt that silent treatment is a joy kill and trying to talk about something other that the issues on the table can be a good break to get things into perspective.  We have learnt that the Holy Spirit helps us to let hard feelings go and counsel and correct us.  We have learnt that we will always be tested but if we take it one day at a time, and we practice, it becomes easier. We have learnt marriage is training ground for us to be more like Jesus.

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